Gimme a B! (Go ahead. I'll wait.) Gimme an I! Gimme a P! Gimme a...oh screw it

B-I-P-O-L-A-R. Ok, so I'm probably not technically afflicted with this disorder, but damn, could someone please stop this roller coaster so that I could get the HELL off?! I wonder what the DSM (what is it up to now? IV, V, maybe VI? Back in the day it was DSM IIIR - D*iagnostic and St*atistical M*anual, 3rd edition, Revised - since it's been ELEVEN YEARS since I graduated from college, I'm sure they've updated once or twice.) defines bi*polar as these days? I guess I could look it up, but frankly I don't really care I guess. Ok, so I'll tell the truth, I'm SCARED to look because I will inevitably find that I am afflicted with EVERY SINGLE psychological disorder known to man listed in there. Yeah. I'm weird like that.

So anyway, I'll be going along living my life, tra la la, being busy, enjoying myself, etc. then BLAMO! I start down the slippery slope of doom. A slope covered in D*airy Q*ueen Blizzards, brownies, Mc*Donalds Mc*Chicken sandwiches (ewwww I don't even like these!) and REAL, fully cafeinated, fully sugared Coca*Cola. The slope is also covered in surly words directed toward the husband, and regretfully, the two sweet potatoes that are my kids. The house is a mess. The laundry is a mess. I am a mess.

Then, the sun starts to rise once again. I start coming out from the "valley" as I like to call it. Bright light fills my day once again and the food overload stops. The surliness stops. The messiness...well, gets less messy. I suppose there may be a pattern to the valleys. I don't know. I've never paid attention. Does it happen the same time every month? Don't know. I guess I'm hesitant to look for a pattern because that would require paying attention to the valley. The valley I'm coming out of - and when I'm coming out of it, I don't like to dwell on it. The valley represents all that I don't want to be. Darkness. Unhappiness. The hill represents brightness and the person I love to be. Valley = bad. Hill = good. Dwelling on valley = bad. Enjoying Hill = good. Me like good. I'd really like to find a way to shorten the valleys and, in turn, lengthen the hills. Maybe I'll work on that. Could be interesting. This has gotten very long and somewhat serious. Hmmm. I guess that's ok.

Here's to Hills.

Don't even ask if there's any brownines left.